New Year, New You

I know that Christmas is over and the gifts have all been opened and played with.

Hopefully they have not been forgotten or abandoned yet by the kids that so anxiously awaited them. It seems like kids want everything that they see. No matter if it is in the store or a 30-second commercial on TV, if they see it they must have it.

My youngest exclaimed on Christmas morning, "It's what I have always wanted!" Sure, in his 4 short years of life he had been asking for the Hungry Hippos game for about a year of it, but I still would not say that he has always wanted it. Too soon the pieces of that prized game will probably be lost and before too long another commercial will come on TV enticing him with yet another toy that he just has to have.

I am sure you have heard and seen all that before if you have kids of your own, but what a lot of grown-ups fail to see is that they are the same way. Except it is not that new little toy anymore that captures their eye, it is the new cars in the commercials. The new homes that have more rooms than there is furniture and maybe even a new boat for that husband who just has to have it, yet will only make it to the water once a year if lucky.

Yes, we are all like that. We get it in our heads that we need something, have to have it, have wanted it our entire lives, only to look on to the next best thing once we do get it. This trend needs to stop. It needs to stop in our kids, and it needs to stop starting with us parents. How do you make the cycle end? It was easy for my parents to teach us kids that things would not buy happiness simply because we had no money to spend.

May 1985

We had arrived in sunny Senegal, West Africa. My older sister was 5, I was 4 and my younger sister had just turned 3. We were living in a small town called Bignona where my parents were learning French. We had no electricity or running water, what we did have were gas lamps for light and a well in the front yard that we carried water into the house from. We had to our name one gas stove and some beds. The rest of the furniture we had in the house we borrowed from a family that was going on furlough.

For the first whole month in Africa my family did without anything because the Mission had sent our donations to the wrong bank. A whole month with three toddlers and no money. I don't even know how I would survive that today!

Money was so tight for us that when my dad got stopped by the guandarmes because the moto he was using did not have turn signals he stressed over the amount they wanted him to bribe them with (yes, apparently that is OK over there). They told him he needed to give them 3,000 francs. That number would make me stress, too, except that it really was only $6 in American money. I am overwhelmed when I think about my father sitting there stressing over six dollars. How often have we layed down six dollars for something without even batting an eye?

At Christmas time many people think that they have to spend tons of money on their kids in order for their kids to feel loved. I have even heard people say, "We need to help this family out because if we don't they won't have a Christmas." I have to bite my tongue at that. We need to get out of that mindset, especially in today's economy! Christmas would still be Christmas without a big meal and gifts. 

One year we didn't have the money to have a tree (due to my dad's allergies they had to be fake), so instead my mom made an outline of a tree on our wall using a string of lights. Then we decorated it by taping paper ornaments to the wall. There also were not a lot of big, expensive gifts under it. Actually, many, many years the presents from my parents were sweaters and outfits handmade by my mom. And we were happy, we were very happy, because you cannot buy happiness no matter what people try to tell or sell you.

It is almost a new year. In this new year how about joining me in being more careful in what we spend our money on? Lets start looking at things in the store and asking ourselves if it is just a want or really a need. You could always say that you work hard and you deserve it, but you also deserve security, emergency funds and peace of mind. Maybe that thing that you simply want could just stay on the shelf and you could instead help out a family who has some real needs. Maybe there is a family near you that has three small children with a dad stressing over where to get six dollars.

Happy New Year.